Recent studies have shown that 4 out of 5 americans have been touched by this epidemic. Either them, or their loved ones, or their independent contractors, or their independent contractor's loved ones...

and whats more.....

At crackflap industries, we understand. Though there is no cure, our scientists have found a way to counter this epidemic. With our new CRACKFLAP, robust men and women can once again stand tall... and bend over.

No more worrying about clients fainting... dates
screaming... household pets running away.